With Madonna hitting her half-century, for the first time ever it’s fashionable for a female to be 50.
Finally, a woman’s experience and wisdom will be valued as much as having young, wrinkle-free skin ... Yeah right. And Melanie Griffith is ageing naturally.
Show me a woman who is happy with her age and I’ll show you the electroconvulsive therapy scorch marks.
As all women know, the secret of staying young is to eat only organic food, hit the sack early ... and to lie your head off about how old you are. With my 50th birthday approaching, real panic set in.
Turning 50 is the most nerve-racking event in a woman’s life, well, which doesn’t involve gynaecologists.
Men have mid-life crises all the time. But how does a woman have a mid-life crisis? My first instinct was to make a lunge for the chocolates and peroxide bottles but, just as I was about to transmogrify into a demented Barbie wannabe, I realised that my reality cheque had bounced.
What does it matter if I’m turning 50 when I don’t feel it? If I didn’t have mirrors all over the house I’d think I was about 25.
So much left to do
OK, my eyesight is getting a little blurry and my knees creak occasionally but that doesn’t mean I must sit at home on the weekend tweezing stray facial hairs.
Not when there are so many things left to try. Riding an elephant, for example. Swimming with a dolphin. Skydiving. I have also never seen the aurora borealis.
And what of all the wonders of the world I’m yet to glimpse? The Great Wall of China? The Taj Mahal? Machu Picchu in Peru?
