The Castles were asked to choose their favourite cars. Mr Castle picked one for its muscle car heritage and the Mrs for its fab looks. Then they swapped and took them out for a spin.
The Dodge Charger RT shudders to a halt. Susan Castle clambers out, ready for the photo op. Her husband, Jonathan, lifts the shiny silver bonnet and peers underneath.
"I was curious!" he says, half beaming, half apologetic.
After all, there is only one way to validate the Charger's supercilious demeanour – to look underneath.
Which is what Jonathan does with marked ease. "It has the infamous HEMI engine – 5.7. But it is a bit more tame and civilised than I would have expected!" he says.
We are at Nad Al Sheba at noon. I use the canopy of shade near the esplanade of the parking lot. Luckily, the sun's unkindly glare doesn't affect the alacrity of the Castles. The next few minutes are suffused with customary clicks, snaps, poses, reflections on chrome, flushed faces and undisguised bonhomie.
Susan ensconces herself back into the driver's seat, and switches on the ignition.
The stentorian roar of the V8 engine is mellifluous to the enthusiastic duo. "It is incredibly quiet inside," she says, shutting the door and driving out of the parking lot effortlessly.
Her confidence in an unfamiliar car doesn't surprise us. Between themselves they share a Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland and a Porsche Boxster.
But today Susan is driving the Charger RT. Why? To help FM magazine capture gender differences, albeit with a new premise. The couple were asked to choose their favourite cars to drive after which they were asked to swap choices.
The Charger RT is Jonathan's selection. He likes American muscle cars – high-performance automobiles with large-capacity engines.
"Very stylish! She would have been a beauty in black and looked incredibly mean!" he exclaims, when we start out from the Trading Enterprises Showroom on Shaikh Zayed Road.
He also loves the concept of Q-cars, a term used to describe modestly styled high-performance saloons.
"A Q-car looks like a boring saloon. Nobody will give it a second look.
Except, you can chase Ferraris for breakfast in one! The Dodge Charger goes back to the hotrods of the 1960s. I wanted to see what it felt like driving one," says Jonathan, proud to display his motoring knowledge even though he is not behind the wheel in this particular instance.
We are cruising on Emirates Road. From a distance, we spot the Dubai Autodrome's bigger-than-life cutouts and half-finished concrete constructions that intersperse undulating sands.
The speedometer hand jumps sharply to the right.
Susan eyeballs the reading on the fuel consumption meter. The Charger RT – with its mean engine – is clearly a guzzler.
"It is at 19.7," she says with mock alarm.
"The Jeep gives us 12," remarks Jonathan, who notices Susan activate the cruise control function.
Susan commutes to Ajman on work, and prefers using cruise control during the drive.
"Wide open lanes and minimum or no traffic tempts me to go faster," she says.
Jonathan on the other hand doesn't use the function. "I prefer to actively control my speed. The good thing is that it [cruise control] switches off half the engine, and allows it to run on four of the injectors. It is much more economical and saves about 25 per cent on fuel consumption," he says.
Susan doesn't speed or race in traffic. Neither does she weave in and out of labyrinthine traffic queues. "I am a bit of a wimp. Besides it is stupid and dangerous. I am not going to put my life and others' at stake just for the sake of fun. If there is a wide open road, I don't mind speeding [within the limit]. Even then, I don't do it habitually," she says.
Back at the showroom, Susan decides the route without hesitation. This is perhaps why we segued towards Nad Al Sheba, then the Al Ain and Emirates roads, past the Arabian Ranches, and now in the direction of Shaikh Zayed Road – fairly smoothly.
"She is a good driver," says Jonathan, who narrates an amusing incident when they lived in Edinburgh.
"She used to drive a little Peugeot 104, and I drove an Alfa Romeo, a nice spirited Italian 4x4," he says. "It is the smallest Peugeot you can get," she interjects.
"Anyway, I was trying to follow her in the city, but she was too fast for me! Her city driving skills are more effective," he says smugly.
Susan has been driving since age 11 on forest and farm tracks where she lived in the North of Scotland. Her dad used to call her Stirling Moss, an epithet inspired by the famed British racing driver Sir Stirling Moss.
But city driving is a lot different; especially because it takes place in the Boxster – her dream car.
"When I was 9, I stole my cousin's dinky car model of the Porsche convertible. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I still have it. I always said I'd own one some day, and I have," she says ecstatically.
Cars have been more than articles of virtue with the Castles, who have driven in most parts of Europe and in America. "We have always had nice cars. We have owned different models of the Jeep for the past 15 years," says Jonathan, who clearly doesn't make unfair comparisons between the cars they own.
"I love them both! They are completely different. The Jeep is big, soft and comfortable. It is great for long distances and easy to drive. The Boxster is a precision instrument! It has a manual gearbox. But that is part of the attraction. You can't just sit in it; you have to think, get the gears right for every bend ..."
Thus, every morning, routes have to be discussed to decide on who gets to drive which car.
"The Emirates Road is terrifying. In a Boxster you are so low down, you see the wheelbases of all the trucks. I prefer to drive the Jeep then," says Susan.
But if the weather is nice enough to put the roof down, Susan prefers the Boxster.
"Driving it is fantastic. Though I can't say much about what the drive does to my hair," she says with a chuckle.
"Can't say it does much for me either," he says, mocking the oncoming threat of ... ahem ... more hair loss.
Before handing over the keys, Susan takes a look at the dash, and coos at the sight of her favourite in-car feature – the sunglass holder. "Oh! if it had a soft top option, perhaps I would consider trading my Porsche but ..."
"Think about it. It is a lot of car for not a lot of money!" says Jonathan, chuckling.
***
The ennui of the afternoon does nothing to wear off the excitement of seeing a bright yellow commanding Hummer H3 with its driver's door open.
It has the signature seven slot, silver grille, large squared-off wheel arches, and round headlamps set in square recesses.
This vehicle with its almost haughty attitude did not intimidate Susan when she said it was her favourite car. (She drives a Porsche Boxster, remember!)
"It is such a great toy. It looks fab! It is gorgeous!" she says with delight.
And no, there isn't a mechanical rationale behind her choice.
Jonathan hurls himself into the driver's seat and looks intently and excitedly at the electronic switches. He toys with the handbrake to figure out its operation and eases the vehicle out of the parking lot.
Predictably, it is he who is meticulous about maintenance of their cars.
According to Susan, she handles breakdowns effectively too. "I simply call up Jonathan so we can swap cars!" she says, before having a hearty laugh.
She did that recently (swap, not laugh) when the engine of the Porsche wasn't switching off. "I called Jonathan, and we swapped cars!" she says.
The Castles are a fun-loving couple who have been together for 17 years. "I am very Zen. I allow things to happen, to unfold! It takes a lot to get me annoyed," says Jonathan.
But even his best attempts at remaining calm in stressful situations are foiled when drivers engage in unpredictable and dangerous driving behaviour such as switching lanes without indicating, slowing down and speeding up, and swerving across traffic. Then he is at his irascible best. "Regardless of gender, I get worked up. Especially if Susan is with me," he says.
"He complains about me cussing at other drivers," says Susan sheepishly.
Jonathan attributes his Zen-like state to 14 years of motorcycling. "I still think I don't have metal protecting me. I had to be incredibly alert when I rode. Road surfaces and traffic conditions make you more vulnerable. I enjoyed it [riding] immensely. I am proud of the fact that I rode through 14 Scottish winters," he says, chuckling.
"That's because you are a lunatic!" Susan reminds him.
"I'd love to ride a motorcycle again," he responds, looking at Susan.
"I trust you! It is the other [riders] on the road I don't!" she says.
Is that for a softening effect?
The thrill of the drive has been heightened by the juvenile exercise of spotting other H3s. In less than 15 minutes we have already spotted three. One would think the superiority exercised by the sheer size of the H3 would make it uncommon, especially in a colour that resembles wilting daffodils. All three were yellow.
"So much for exclusivity!" says Jonathan.
"At least we can see the tops of all the Range Rovers," says Susan.
The Satwa road, parallel to Shaikh Zayed Road, is a perfect example of anachronism. Flanked on one side is the edificial line of skyscrapers, on the other, modest, utilitarian villas and sparse desert flora.
A perfect place for a bit of off-roading.
Susan and Jonathan love off-roading. Since she learnt to drive off-road, the desert offers an achievable challenge. "It is not quite the same terrain, but it is great fun," she says.
The Castles enjoy driving immensely. "A lot of people say that they hate driving in Dubai. I still enjoy it. I don't like the traffic jams though," says Jonathan, before Susan adds, "There is a traffic jam in every city. We have spent 25 minutes trying to get across Princess Street in central Edinburgh, Scotland. And that is just one street."
It could be patriarchal logic or just habit, but it is Jonathan who drives when they are out together. "Especially when we have a social agenda," says Susan, who loves planning routes much to Jonathan's chagrin.
"I get frustrated when I have chosen a particular route and she asks me to take another," he says.
"But I know all the rat runs!" she says, defensively, adding, "Nothing rankles a man [more] than a woman overtaking him. It happens to me when I drive the Boxster. Some young bloke, regardless of what car he is driving, will try to race past when we are at the traffic lights. And I allow him because when you know the capability of your car, you don't have to try."
Still, gender stereotypes abound. "Men tend to be more aggressive. I would imagine a Land Cruiser with flashing headlights is driven by a man. However, both genders can be equally competitive and discourteous."
The H3 thus far has behaved well in city traffic, partly because Jonathan drives it like a regular 4x4 and not an on-steroids version of H3 driving. And yes, we have spotted yet another of the same colour.
When it's time to return the keys, I can't help but ask Susan, "Were you disappointed because you didn't get to drive your favourite car?"
"No," she says, "I'll give it a spin over the weekend."
