|
“Women! Can't live with them, can't live without them!” said Erasmus ages ago. Is his comment valid today?
Simon Peirce, owner of cafes and restaurants in some schools and hotels in Dubai, loves the sense of mystery of never quite knowing what is on a woman’s mind.
Nevertheless, he agrees to say what is on his mind despite knowing that there will be some woman waiting for him with a cudgel ... He is strong enough to face the ignominy that may arise from this printed article. And, yes, he is single.
He says: I am not the best judge of women. Having said that, I’ve never fully understood a woman well enough to get down on my knees and propose.
To begin to understand this mysterious gender, we men have to accept that they are wired differently.
For one thing, they control us. They make us believe that everything is our idea. We are tricked into believing them.
I’ve learnt the art of surviving the female gender – lie when it is important.
So when a girlfriend asks, “Does my bottom look big in these jeans?” Say, “Of course not.”
And then compliment her so she gets this idee fixe of fat-versus-skinny jeans off her mind. Also, remember women go on diets – every other day.
It’s like a fashion bug. Fat ratio and weight issues are as important as global warming. After donuts and pizza, a diet the next day is a natural turn of events.
Don’t ever tell a woman she needs to lose weight. It will be the biggest relationship faux pas you could commit.
And while on women don’t forget; they have the memory of an elephant. After an argument, every word is replayed months later.
Heaven help you if you don’t compliment her on a new haircut or worse, forget her birthday or your anniversary. Now the mood swings... (and you can get giddy just counting them.) Be nice to a woman when this happens. You’ll earn brownie points by the armful.
Another place to see the female gender in its most unaltered state is in a shop selling clothes, jewellery and shoes. They can shop all day, so forget trying to convince them otherwise. We blokes buy what we want and go watch footy.
They also watch other women for invidious reasons. Most mental notes are not interesting daily life observations; rather they are mental notes on brands, styles and make-up.
We believe that there are a few beautiful, but shallow, women. The kind who stick with ugly, fat, rich blokes.
And, most importantly, one eternally burning question is: why do women ask us questions when we watch a match or read the newspaper? And when we don’t answer, they get mad at us.
Still, we love them. They are an evocative gender.
So I wonder how we are supposed to know when a woman is interested in us? They keep playing this standoffish game all the time.
Ladies, care to give an answer to this one?
Hywell Waters, the Dubai-based fashion and advertising
photographer, has a girlfriend.
He says he has to be careful with his words so he doesn’t scare her off.
“As part of my job and outside, I meet different kinds of women – divas, daisies, dolls ... They all have defining characteristics, but I get rankled about how some cloak themselves with an air of self-importance.
They lack a strong sense of self, and use pretentious attributes to make up. Clearly, this stems from deep-seated insecurity.
Sometimes their vanity is asphyxiating. Like when a woman asks me to photograph her only on her ‘best’ side, or technically, make her look slimmer or, worse, younger.
I love women who care about their appearance – posture and dress sense are important. I am not too fond of those who titivate themselves by wearing head-to-toe designer brands and 2-cm-thick make-up.
A confident, well-groomed woman in jeans and a white T-shirt is far more attractive.
However, what is unattractive in a woman is her proclivity to indulge in histrionics. Women love to take issues to third-party collective, and overreact. Their reactionary response is often catapulted to fierce levels. I suspect they have their own unpredictable mood swingometer!
Speaking of responses, nothing elicits a good, crackling conversation like a piece of gossip among women. They thrive on the naughty and the nasty bits about each other.
While it is ok to indulge in scuttlebutt, sadly, some of them lack the art of straight talk. They will skirt an issue instead of dealing with it right away.
No bulls eye logic there ... Which explains why women need to talk so much on the phone. Women love ... the back-and-forth texting routine.
On a different note, when it comes to EQ, some women are too emotionally demanding. Much to my dismay! They are like puppies that need constant attention.
What makes a woman perfect is her strong character and confidence.
It is a double bonus if she has these qualities and can whip up a gourmet meal. Is that asking for much?
PS: We men don’t claim to be perfect either.
|
