Just a week away from his 40th birthday, Peter Miller was out holidaying in Papua New Guinea with his friends – a game of golf followed by a quick bite at the nearest pizza joint.
That's when he felt a stinging itchiness on his chest. He also
noticed that his left nipple was swollen and red. "One of the friends in the group was a doctor and he suggested
that I get it checked at his clinic.
I appreciated his concern but decided to see a doctor once I returned to my hometown in Australia.
"Within three days, the itch returned, so I drove down to my family doctor. They ran some screening tests and I continued to live my life without giving it further thought. But time came to a stand till when the reports came in," recalls Peter, who now works as an electrical supervisor for TAMCO Middle East.
Peter was diagnosed with male breast cancer. Two days after the initial consult, he underwent a radical mastectomy, followed by radiation and chemotherapy treatments.
Two decades later, he's cancer-free and as active as ever – especially when it comes to raising awareness about men and breast cancer.
"I don't think there's enough known about male breast cancer. The reason there are too many men who remain silent is that there are too many men who don't speak out. It's not that they don't care about others, but I think that they are embarrassed and think it is only a female disease.
"I'm not embarrassed at all. It's nothing to be ashamed of. If I can help one man by telling my story, I'm willing to do that. Men need to know they can get breast cancer. Knowledge is power and it can save lives. To get the word out, I am willing to use every medium I can. I have spoken at community events, posted on online message boards and made new friends through various cancer support groups."
Mostly he credits his family and friends for helping him through the experience. "My mother has been my biggest supporter all through the ordeal.
The diagnosis was a shock for us all. We tried to find an answer to the many questions we had. "Both sides of the family tried to trace the cause to a genetic root, as there was no indication from the kind of lifestyle I led.
"I combed through books, met with people but the 'why' in my mind was never answered. At times I felt helpless and lost. I never expected to be a candidate for a mastectomy but this was the recommended treatment so I agreed to proceed.
Accepting the fact that you have cancer after a diagnosis is a big help and it helped me be positive about the treatment ahead and the outcome."
Last year he participated in the Pink Walkathon organised by BurJuman's Safe and Sound Breast Cancer Awareness Programme.
He hopes to play a larger role this time by being their male spokesperson, "It never bothered me to talk about having breast cancer although it seemed to bother a lot of other people. I guess they considered it a delicate matter.
But you can get cancer anywhere, and that's where mine was. Breast cancer is not a death sentence. Many people survive: I have! Through having a positive attitude, openness and love, I feel my life has been enhanced. It hasn't been easy, but
I'm here and that's what matters."
As a personal choice, he opted not to have reconstruction for the mastectomy he had on his left side. His struggle was long and tiresome but he maintained his assertiveness throughout. Six years after his diagnosis, his marriage collapsed.
"I would not blame the cancer for my separation from my wife, but I will say that it laid additional stress on our relationship. She was scared of the situation, although she tried to put the best face on it. When I was diagnosed it had not even been a complete year since we married. We were hoping to start a family but now I feel some wishes are best unfulfilled."
Aside from the check-ups that he has to undergo every two years, daily life has certainly changed for him. "My perspective on life has changed, and the appreciation of how precious life is has been strengthened. I feel I'm now a more thoughtful person, maybe a bit calmer too. Overall, I don't feel that male breast cancer has affected my self-image, although I've yet to go topless on a beach or in a swimming pool. I always select shirts that have a pocket – it kind of balances the emptiness on that side of my chest," he says.
– Ruqya Khan, a freelance writer based in Sharjah
